Overachiever Jen

Just a note to let everyone know that my overachieving travel companion, Jen, has informed me that she has managed to raise, in the space of just 2 weeks, $55 MORE than the estimated $1500 we would need for her airfare to accompany me on this trip.

Once we get the actual travel approval, I'll start bargain hunting. I'm hoping to find some nice, cheap flights so that we don't actually have to tap every penny of that, but it's nice to know it's there if needed. What we are really hoping is to have a little left over to be able to hold for the next person who needs help like this. This travel companion group has been a godsend, and I've made a new friend in the process of getting someone to help out on the trip.

This is just the most incredible blessing, thanks to the generosity of so many strangers who are making this happen for us. My deepest thanks to everyone who contributed money or prayers. Please keep the prayers coming, but the fundraising is now complete unless anyone wants to donate towards the fund for the next person who needs help getting a travel companion.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Letter #9 - How to Pay for Love?

Here's the latest from China!

Dear mama,

How are you? I can remember all the letters' sign language in that book you sent to me. I heard about Christmas before, but if I cannot be with you all then, next year for sure I will be with mama and gege, I will be very happy. I learned a lot ASL. I will keep that picture for you and gege. I have a mom who loves soooo much, I want to give you my kiss. I am so happy mama will give me a good name.

I don't know my real parents, I was sent to SWI when I was 3 years old, I was brought up in SWI. I will study hard, once I have a job, I will requite you and gege for your love.

Your son xiaotian


Dear XiaoTian,

If you remember all those letters and all the ASL from that book I sent you, then you are ready for another book. I will have to find you some more ASL books and hope that David (Tongguang) can write the Chinese in them for you. You are very intelligent to learn so much so quickly, and I think you will do very well in school. I have learned a little bit of Chinese sign language, but the DVD I have only has 4 lessons, so I think you will know more ASL than I know of Chinese sign. But I think we will communicate very well.

Gege and I went to a really interesting worship service the night before Thanksgiving. You would have liked it, I think. It was at the deaf church, and the deaf choir was signing a song, but the church was dark so you couldn't see them. The only light was a "black light" that looks almost purple, and the choir members were all wearing black clothes with white gloves. So all you could see while they did this song in sign language was the hands in the gloves making the signs. It was so beautiful, and I thought to myself how you would have enjoyed seeing that. Hopefully they will do something like that again after you are here and we can go again so you can see it, too.

There is something you must learn about being a family, the first and most important thing. You say when you get a job, you will pay us back for our love, but that's not how it works. You see, the only way to pay someone back for loving you is with more love. You don't have to get a job and make money to make us happy for loving you. All you have to do is love us, too, and that makes us happier than any money you could ever make at a job. I will be happy if you get a good job just because it will be good to know that you can provide well for yourself and your family once I am no longer on earth. But the job will not be to pay me for loving you. Nothing can pay me for that, except your love. Do you see how it works? I adopt you because I love you, and you love me for adopting you, and then I love you more because you love me, and you love me even more because I loved you more....and soon, there is so much love that it spills over to other people because they see how happy we are. If everyone could be that way, there would be a lot of love in the world, right?

Speaking of jobs, though, have you ever thought about what you want to be when you grow up? What classes in school do you like the most? Is there anything you are very good at and enjoy doing? I am wondering if I need to arrange for some special classes for my intelligent son.

Did you know that you have already had a profound impact on gege, even though you two haven't met yet? When gege found out that I was definitely going to be able to adopt you, he canceled one of his college classes, and took a sign language class instead so that he would learn to communicate with you better. He has enjoyed the sign language class so much that he has decided to become a sign language interpreter as his profession. Before, he was not sure what he wanted to do as a job, but now he knows that he wants to work with deaf people and be an interpreter. Wow!

I can't wait to get that kiss from you (all mamas like kisses!) and to see the picture. Stay healthy and be happy even during the wait, and until we can meet, we will see each other in our dreams and blow kisses on the wind like always.

Love you,
Mama

Wrong Bird - Again

Well, I spent the weekend tracking another bird out of Beijing headed for my agency. The package was delivered this afternoon, but I got a note from my agency saying that mine wasn't in it. They checked, and my dossier is in the "2nd office" (what the hay is that???) which is "running slow" (okay, tell me something I haven't already figured out), but once this 2nd office turns it over to the TA office (is that the 1st office?) it will "only" take another week or two, and then I should travel 2-3 weeks after that.

YIKES! This is sounding more and more like I won't even have him home before the holidays. Now I'm getting upset. I came home tonight and had a good long cry. At some point I've got to write him a note about this, but I have no clue what to say, how to explain these constant delays.

I guess I should get a care package ready to send over, since it looks like there's no danger of me beating it there at this point. Anyone got any ideas on what I should put in it this time?

The Century Club

Meet the newest member of the Century Club--those of us who have waited over 100 days for their Travel Approval (TA). I was dragged in kicking and screaming. This is one club I really didn't want to join.

I know Xiao Tian has to be wondering what the heck is taking so long, why mama hasn't shown up yet, since they pulled him out of school over a month ago. The kids just don't have any clue how much paperwork is involved and how many stops it all has to make before moving on to the next person. Frankly, we adults don't really have any clue either. It's just inconceivable to most of us who are adopting why it takes so long for an application that has already been approved to get a little stamp and a signature on it saying it's okay for this person to come over and pick up the child.

Gosh, does this mean I can now be called a centenarian? Just what I need--another old-age crack for my 19-year-old son to use on me.

Feeling a little weary from the wait.

Raising Funds for Jen's Ticket

I got a note from Jen last night that of the estimated $1500 we will need for her airfare, we are down to only needing $525 more. Isn't that incredible? So many people have been so generous to make this happen for us. I wanted to put the information on the blog just in case anyone reading wanted to jump in. She figured out how to receive funds via PayPal, so the address to send a donation that way would be hawkfamily2@yahoo.com. If you wanted to send a check, it should go to Jen at the following address:

Jennifer Hawkins
6845 Ashley Drive
Colorado Springs, CO 80922

We aren't giving any guidelines on amounts. There have been a few large gifts, and the many, many small ones are adding up quickly. Every tiny bit gets us that much closer to this becoming a reality.

I'm rather overwhelmed with how this has all come together so quickly. Now if only the TA would show up soon! Gotta get that boy home.

My love and thanks to everyone who has helped out in this. And especially to Jen, for volunteering her time and energy for this trip. She is so willing to do absolutely anything for us so that I'm free to spend my time working with my son and teaching him ASL. I will be forever indebted to her for stepping out in faith as she has to make this happen. She is truly an inspiration.

So, so blessed

Despite feeling picked-on by the fates for this looooong TA wait (now on day #93), I am so often and in so many ways reminded that I am truly blessed, and yesterday two major events jumped up, smacked me in the face, and reminded me of that when I was feeling a little low after learning that my TA was not on the bird from Beijing (the package I'd been stalking).

The first was that just recently I joined (yet another) Yahoo group, this one for people either seeking to get or seeking to be travel companions to those who don't have anyone to help out on the adoption trip. Even though I feel relatively prepared for all of this, it would still be soooo nice to have someone to do the picture-taking and be the extra pair of eyes and hands that is so valuable on an endeavor like this. And my friends, God bless every one of 'em, have lives that they just can't break away from for this length of time.

So I posted to this group, after noticing in the database that all of the people seeking to be travel companions have already adopted themselves and most have more than one child, whether adopted or bio or a combination thereof, and I asked them how they are all able to walk away from their lives. Wham!!! Immediately 4 or 5 responses came back, each telling of what awesome support they have from friends, family, spouses, whatever. One response was from one of the co-moderators with some specifics, and it led to a conversation, and the next thing I know, I have a travel companion lined up who is even doing fundraising for her plane ticket (I'll cover the acommodations and meals) and who is still willing to go even if it ends up that I'm having to go over the holidays. (Praying that won't happen, but it was one of my concerns, since this process is so unpredictable.) She is also a very strong Christian, which will help keep me focused if/when things get a little rough on this trip. We talked on the phone last night for nearly an hour and a half, and it felt like talking to an old friend. I am feeling truly blessed to have found her, and I think this will turn into another life-long friendship.

The second thing was that during class at college last night, I happened to get into a conversation with my prof and mentioned my concern that the way things were dragging on, with my luck the TA would come with such timing that I would have to sit on it until after the final exam on Dec 11 and not be able to leave as soon as I might otherwise to get my son. (Since the final exam is "live" because the professor signs the questions and has you sign back, there is no make-up possibility. You are there for the exam, or you fail. Period.) When she heard that I might have to wait to leave just because of the exam, she immediately and without hesitation said no, no, no--for a circumstance such as this, she would actually be willing to administer the exam early to me so that I could get out of Dodge. So I'm just to let her know if this happens and I need to either miss a chunk of class or take the exam early, and she'll work with me on whatever is needed.

I simply couldn't have asked for any better blessings yesterday, other than to get the actual TA and be getting ready to go. And I have to keep reminding myself that it's all in God's time, not mine, that this will happen. That's not easy to remember now that we're coming down to the wire on this. I'm just way too human.

Stalking Packages

I can't believe it's come to this. I'm trying so hard to be a good doobie and not bother my agency rep with the "Is it here yet?" question like a whiny little kid on a car trip, but I'm desperate to know something, ANYTHING. I found out someone on one of the adoption chat boards knows how to find packages coming out of Beijing headed for the US agencies, and yesterday she was able to give me two tracking numbers for packages heading to my agency. She said from the sequence numbers, it looks like one (the one delivered yesterday) contained referrals. But the other one might, maybe, oh puh-leeeze God, just might contain travel notices. And even though my agency said they didn't believe my dossier was far enough along yet to be in this next batch, I'm still officially in prayer mode. As in down on my knees, hands raised in the air.

So I am tracking this package, going every 1/2 hour to the web site for the carrier and putting in the tracking number to see where it is up-to-the-minute, real-time. It was picked up from CCAA in Beijing on 11/06 at 2:27 p.m. (I'm assuming that's Beijing time, not ours, since our time would make it the middle of the night there), and it finally left the Beijing "facility" on 11/07 at 6:04 a.m. That means it's on the plane now.

I actually am making screen shots of the various stages that this package is checking in at different facilities. If it turns out to be the one with my travel advisory, I'm gonna print up the screen shot and put it in Xiao Tian's lifebook so he can someday see how nutso his momma was during the final phase of this journey.

The real problem here is that I'm desperate to NOT join the Century Club--people who have been waiting for TA for more than 100 days. I'm on day #91 since LID. Yes, I know all the logical reasons why I should hope that TA doesn't show up just yet, because if it does, I'm gonna miss 2 weeks of my college class right before the final, and that's not going to be pretty to have to explain to my professor. Final exam is December 11, and if I had half a brain, I'd wish for end of November TA and plan travel for December 12. But I'm beyond logic at this point. My boy is sitting in an orphanage in China, waiting for mama to show up, not even going to school because the orphanage thinks I'm showing up any day, and I want him home. It's that simple.

I simply can't believe I'm reduced to stalking packages. When I first started this process, I used to laugh at people who spoke of stalking the DHL or FedEx man.

Hoist on me own petard.