Starting From Square One

No, not with the adoption. Everything's on track. But the travel agency that my adoption agency books through was really jerking me around price-wise. They were charging me more than double what all the other adoptive parents who have recently returned have paid, and they're only doing two out of the three cities we were going to be in--I was getting a customized itinerary from another agency for Beijing so I could hire a Chinese Sign Language interpreter for Xiao Tian. Excuse me? Twice as much for only 2/3 the work? My math isn't the greatest, but that didn't add up.


When I told my adoption agency that I felt like I was being jacked up, they said there is an option for just getting a guide for $600 to get us through the paperwork and the many appointments both in province and in Guangzhou at the consulate. Now THAT I consider a reasonable fee! So I told them to go with that, which meant I now needed to find my own hotels, in-country flights, drivers, tour guides, etc.


And this is Friday night. I'm leaving Monday.


Then I started wondering if the agency doing my Beijing tour handled adoption trips as well. Hit the web site, found out they did, and started making phone calls to China.


I don't want to see next month's phone bill. But OCDF (Our Chinese Daughter's Foundation) is walking in and picking up the pieces for me--cheerfully. When I told them what this other place was planning to charge me, the woman simply gasped in astonishment. She never said a word. She didn't have to. That gasp said it all.


Gave her the information I had and what needed to be done last night right before bed, which was first thing in the morning on Saturday for them. (They're 13 hours ahead of us.) By the time I woke up this morning, she was nearly done, and it's going to cost less than half of what the other place was charging.


Unbelievable.


If anyone wants the name of a travel agency to stay away from, e-mail me off-line. If anyone wants the name of an absolutely FABULOUS agency who can work miracles at the last minute, visit www.ocdf.org. Their travel planner is named Jenny, and she's simply wonderful.
So I'm in a very grateful mood this morning as I'm putting up with all the last-minute aggravations that always happen before a big trip, and trying to squeeze everything in that must be done. I have just survived my entire trip falling apart and being put back together. I have a roof over my head when I land in China.


And now, as someone on one of the chat boards so aptly said, "As long as they hand over the kid, nobody gets hurt."

Letter #12 - Wanna Do Kung Fu

To tell the truth, I was getting a little worried that I hadn't heard from him since I sent the note saying I would be there to get him on the 27th. Wondered if he was getting anxious or scared. Not to worry, though--I got a letter from our intermediary today saying that now that the adoption is so close, the SWI won't let him outside much. Did manage to smuggle out one last letter from him, though. Resourceful, aren't they?

The intermediary tells me that he has figured out how to cross-reference the two dictionaries I sent him (ASL-English and Chinese-English) to figure out new words, but he is complaining because he can't always understand the pictures in the ASL dictionary--they aren't clear enough for him to tell exactly how to make the sign. Everybody's a critic. I just can't believe he's still trying to teach himself!

Oh, and great, just what I need....the kid wants to take karate. It's not enough that he has to hit the ground running and learn TWO new languages simultaneously (ASL and English)? And how the heck am I going to interpret karate instructions?? I knew I should have scrubbed the KungFu performance by the Shaolin Monks off of the Beijing itinerary....

Okay, deep breath, calm down....cross that bridge when we get there.

Here's the latest (and probably last!) letter:

Dear Mama,

Nihao! I knew you will come to pick me up on 27th, I am so happy about that! Thank you for sending so many candies to the children. I can look up the dictionary by myself, I study hard. I know mama will teach me the pictures I don't know, thank you. Mama was a martial artist, I want to learn it when I am in US.

Wish mama and gege have a joyous Christmas!

Your son
Xiaotian

Travel Itinerary

Well, we have an itinerary now!

12/25: Leave Maryland
12/27: Land in Nanjing at 11:10 a.m. and meet XiaoTian at 3:00 p.m. Staying at the Mandarin Garden Hotel.
12/28: Adoption registration, notary, and passport processing.
12/31: Pick up XiaoTian's passport.
01/01: Fly to Guangzhou. Staying at the Victory Hotel.
01/03: Medical exam.
01/04: Visa interview.
01/05: American consulate to take oath and get XiaoTian's American visa. Fly to Beijing. Staying at the Peace Novotel. Doing all kinds of cool stuff here!
01/10: Leave Beijing to fly home (arrive 01/11 at 6:33 a.m.)

Letter #11 - I Am A Fisherman (tissue alert)

For those of you who have been telling me you won't read this blog without a box of tissues nearby, I'm warning you--this one has a serious tissue alert attached. Don't even think of reading this most recent note if your tissue box is running low!This note is in response to the last one I sent him. He doesn't know about the TA arriving yet, I just last night sent the e-mail, so it wouldn't have been given to him before he sent this. The part in parentheses about English is a comment from our go-between. XT usually writes his notes in Chinese and someone translates them to send to me, but apparently he is wanting to show how well he is doing in his English lessons by writing a few words here and there in English. He sure is motivated, isn't he?


Dear mother and brother, (this is what he wrote on his letter, English!!)


How are you! I think I will like the things in the package. You told me we have a sewing machine at home, I am happy about that! I will make something when I get back home. The christmas tree at Yifei's home of hope has already been decorated, it is sooo beautiful! I can see it from my building, colorful lights and bulbs are very pretty! I really hope I can have Christmas with mama and gege. Please say hi to gege, mama can you send some pictures about christmas tree to me?


I drew another picture, which has a lot of beautiful fish, I am one of them, gege is in it also, mama is a fisherman, you got gege first, I am the next, then you take us home, and love us with all your heart, God is looking at us, bless us! We have a happy life!


Mama please teach me how to use the dictionary.


Merry Christmas! (xiaotian put English here also!!)


Wish mama and gege happy everyday!
Your son,
Xiaotian


I'm crying too hard to think of a response just now. I think I'll just sit on this one a while, hold it close, savor it, until the travel plans are all firmed up, and send him a note when I have more to report.

TA at Last!

Shock of my life--my agency called with TA tonight, and I hadn't even checked on whether any birds were coming out of Beijing since earlier this week, because I didn't think anything would arrive until next week!

The tentative plans are to fly out late on Christmas, meet him on the 27th shortly after landing, consulate appointment on the 4th of January, a couple of days in Beijing so he can climb The Wall, and head home on the 8th of January. This itinerary is contingent on there being a consulate appointment available on the 4th. The entire timetable hinges around that.

It looks like the amount that Jen raised during her two-week frenzy will cover her international ticket, which is fabulous news. I have tentative flights on hold for $1199 each, plus tax and fuel surcharge, which can run $200-$300. Xiao Tian's ticket (one way) will be $995 plus taxes.

That's all the news that I have at the moment, until that appointment is confirmed. I'll update if/when I get anything interesting.

Letter #8 - A Real Man

Had my little crying jag last night and got it out of my system. This morning, a letter from China was waiting for me. It had been a couple of weeks since the last one, so I was a little worried that our go-between source had been found out and silenced, but I am reassured that is not the case. What a great letter!

Dear mama and gege,

How are you doing? I am still waiting for you to come to pick me up. I thought about I want an American name, but I want to keep xiaotian in the name also, I hope mama and gege will like that. I've never been to Beijing, hope I can go with mama. There is one sentence in chinese: You won't be a real man unless you climb the Great Wall. I hope mama and I can climb it together.

Miss Tang in fuliyuan gave the album mama sent to me. I will keep it well. I saw the house, it is sooo beautiful! The living room, bedroom, kitchen, two dogs, one cat, TV, computer, fireplace, mama's car and gege's car, also gege's girlfriend is pretty. I really wish once I woke up, I were lying in the American home!

I can write 26 letters now. I drew a picture also, where has a tree full of heart shape leaves, which is my love for mama and gege. Hope this year mama gege and I can have the Christmas in American home together!

May mama and gege good health!Your son: xiaotian


Of course, I had to write back and explain that now it looked like it might not happen until January, but I promised him that we would keep the tree up and have Christmas with him whenever he arrived, so he would not miss it. Here's my reply:

Dear Xiao Tian,

Gege and I are healthy and looking forward to having you home with us. We are still waiting for the CCAA to give us the travel notice that will allow me to come to China to get you. It must go through two more offices before they can send it to the U.S. It may happen in December, but my agency has told me that since the CCAA is moving so slowly, it might not happen until January.


I cannot believe it is taking this long for this paperwork, and I am very sorry that you are not in school during this long wait. I am glad you are using this waiting time to learn some English and learn to write the 26 letters. Here is a challenge for you: Each of the 26 letters you learned to write has a handshape in ASL so that you can spell words. Those handshapes are shown in the back of the ASL book I sent you--there is a page that shows a picture of each letter. Can you memorize which hand shape goes with each letter?


This week on Thursday we have an American holiday called Thanksgiving. Have you heard of this holiday? It started when some people called Pilgrims came to America and built houses and worked the fields. Life was very hard, and many of them died, and their Indian neighbors taught them a lot about growing crops and hunting for food. So at the end of the autumn, after the harvest, they had a big feast with lots of food, and they invited the Indians to join them, and they gave thanks to God for helping them to survive and have enough food to save for the winter. So Thursday, on Thanksgiving, we have a big feast and invite all of our family and some friends to share it. You will see this feast next year. You will be surprised how much food there is!


My heart is breaking that you might not be home with us in time for Christmas, but I make you this promise: If you are not here in time for Christmas, our Christmas tree will stay up until you come home to us, and we will have our Christmas celebration just for you whenever you get here. So please do not worry about missing Christmas, okay? You will still have your Christmas with mama and gege.


I have made plans for us to go to Beijing together, and we shall climb the Great Wall so that you can be a real man. I am also hiring a Chinese sign language interpreter during the time we tour some of the historical places in Beijing, because I know you won't know enough ASL yet to truly understand the history around you, and I want you to enjoy it fully and understand some of your heritage and culture. So the interpreter will be there, but only for Beijing. Until Beijing, you will be learning ASL with me so we can learn to communicate better.


I have a friend who is coming on the trip with me. Her name is Jen, and she and her husband adopted a little girl from China about a year ago. She is very excited to meet you and to help us on our adoption trip. She does not know any ASL yet, so we will teach her some together, you and I. Would you like to try to teach her some ASL since you have learned many signs already?


Since you have decided to take an American name, I will be sure to bring a list with me. I will show you in sign language what each name means, so that you can choose a name that you thinks fits your character. But we will keep Xiao Tian in your name. So your name after you are adopted will be ________ XiaoTian Fisher.

I love hearing of the tree with the heart-shaped leaves. Even though I cannot see it yet, it is very precious to me, because it is a symbol of your love and trust for me. Will you please save this picture for me and bring it to me when me meet? After you come home, I want to help you make a special book called a Life Book, which has information about your life in China, and I think this picture should be part of this book, because it is the first picture you made for your new mama. Have you also in the past made pictures for your first mama, to show your love for her and your thanks that she gave you life? If you have made such pictures for her, those should also be in this book.


Again, I am sorry it is taking so long to get permission to come pick you up. Just know that you have a mama who loves you very much, and I will be there as soon as they give me permission, and I am still thinking of you all the time and blowing you kisses in the wind every night.

Love, Mama

Letter #10 - More ASL, Mom!

Dear mama,

Nihao! I remembered all the letters and ASL in the book you sent to me, so I am ready for another book, please give me more ASL books. Mama and gege, I thought about what I am going to do in the future. I like sports at school, riding a bike, swimming, computer and drawing, also I like do some sewing. Dear mama I can sew some little toy and blanket.

Everynight I can receive your kiss from my dream. I keep that picture well till you come to get me. I hope mama can bring some local food of our city, thank you mama. I love you dear mama and gege!

xiaotian


Dear XiaoTian,

I have sent you a package and you should receive it very soon. I mailed it on Thursday night, and they said it will take 4-10 days to be delivered, so you might possibly get it this week. I hope you like what is in it.

I have decided that now that you know your 26 letters in English and many ASL, it would be too easy for you if I ask David to write the Chinese words in the ASL book I am sending for you, and it would take David a long time, because what I sent is an ASL-English dictionary with many, many, many ASL signs. So I also sent a Chinese-English dictionary. Here is what you must do: Look first in the ASL dictionary and look at the picture of the sign. Next to it in dark typing is the English word for that sign. Then go to the Chinese-English dictionary, and look for that word in the English side. You can find it because the first letter the word starts with is in the book in the order that you learned the letters, so first are all words beginning with A, then all words beginning with B, etc. When you find that English word, you can see the Chinese word next to it, and then you can write the Chinese word in your ASL dictionary next to the sign.

Since you are so smart, I think this will keep you busy for a little while, yes? You will probably still be working on it when I come to get you! I am very proud that you have worked so hard to learn all the ASL I sent you and English with your teacher at SWI. Please tell your teacher that I said thank you for taking the time to teach my son English--that is very, very kind of her.

I also put in a sweatshirt from Gallaudet University for the Deaf. I am not sure of your size, so I hope that it fits you okay. If it does not fit you, then you may give it to a smaller child and I will buy you a bigger one when we get home to the U.S.

There are also many candies in the box. You must promise to share them with your friends and teachers, yes? Do not try to eat so much candy by yourself, it will make you sick if you eat too much. But there is plenty to share. And be sure to brush your teeth after eating candy!

Do you sew with a needle and thread? I have a sewing machine here at home that you may learn to use if you wish. I also understand that you taught yourself to knit. I can knit a little bit, but I am not very good. I have knitting needles and crochet hooks if you wish to use them to make something.

I am trying to put up our Christmas tree this week. It is a big artificial tree, so it takes a long time (about 7 hours) and I cannot do it all at one time. So I will try to stand it up and put it together tonight, and then perhaps tomorrow night put on the lights, and then the next night decorate it with all the little balls. It is a lot of work, but it is very pretty when it is finished. Once I get it all decorated, would you like me to send you a picture, or do you want the sight of it to be a surprise when you arrive in the U.S.?

I love you, XiaoTian, be safe and happy until I can see you.

Love,
Mama