Aging Gracefully

Martin Luther King day. Charlie has an appointment with an oral surgeon. To back up a little, Charlie is about to get braces. After the initial appointment with the orthodontist, we were asked to go see an oral surgeon, because there were some bright spots on the x-rays they wanted checked out.

So here we are, Charlie seated in the surgeon's chair. The surgeon examines him, examines the digital x-ray, and then asks, "How old are you?" Charlie answered that he was 14-1/2. The surgeon mutters, "His dentition is more mature than that."

I was busy interpreting for Charlie, so the ramifications of that statement didn't sink in until later, when I had a chance to process it in mommy mode instead of interpreter mode. I spoke with the surgeon later by phone and asked him just how much more mature the dentition was. His initial guess from memory was 16, but after looking at the films again, he said Charlie has the dentition of a 17-year-old, but to remember that this isn't an exact science.

I'm not quite ready to believe 17. When Charlie was found, they estimated he was 2; if he is now truly 17, that would mean he was actually 4-1/2 when he was found. There's a BIG difference between a 2-year-old and a 4-1/2-year-old, and I'm really having trouble believing they were that far off. I think the truth is probably somewhere between his legal age of 14-1/2 and 16.

What am I going to do about it? Absolutely nothing.

In the deaf school, you have until age 21 to get a regular high-school diploma. If you can't attain that, you can get a certificate of completion from the school. Charlie is shooting for the diploma, but he's at a disadvantage to start with, not knowing English as well as his peers yet and starting from scratch. He's in the 7th grade now, but he can stay in high school through age 21. If I change his legal age now, that would severely curtail the amount of time he has to achieve this. I think he is right on target with where he needs to be, and socially he is fitting in well with his peers. His attitude is sometimes more mature, but that's okay; it just means he sets a good example.

I really can't see short-changing him on the amount of time he has to get his diploma and graduate. I see no benefits whatsoever to changing his legal age. Besides, he knows his birthday and that is part of his identity. I think it would be a jolt, after all the adjustments he's dealt with in the past year, to suddenly be told he's older than he is.

I did tell him, but I also explained my reasons for keeping him at age 14, and he's fine with that. He seems to take everything in stride.

Besides, I don't want him to start asking for the car keys just yet.

It does explain the mustache, though.