Letter #8 - A Real Man

Had my little crying jag last night and got it out of my system. This morning, a letter from China was waiting for me. It had been a couple of weeks since the last one, so I was a little worried that our go-between source had been found out and silenced, but I am reassured that is not the case. What a great letter!

Dear mama and gege,

How are you doing? I am still waiting for you to come to pick me up. I thought about I want an American name, but I want to keep xiaotian in the name also, I hope mama and gege will like that. I've never been to Beijing, hope I can go with mama. There is one sentence in chinese: You won't be a real man unless you climb the Great Wall. I hope mama and I can climb it together.

Miss Tang in fuliyuan gave the album mama sent to me. I will keep it well. I saw the house, it is sooo beautiful! The living room, bedroom, kitchen, two dogs, one cat, TV, computer, fireplace, mama's car and gege's car, also gege's girlfriend is pretty. I really wish once I woke up, I were lying in the American home!

I can write 26 letters now. I drew a picture also, where has a tree full of heart shape leaves, which is my love for mama and gege. Hope this year mama gege and I can have the Christmas in American home together!

May mama and gege good health!Your son: xiaotian


Of course, I had to write back and explain that now it looked like it might not happen until January, but I promised him that we would keep the tree up and have Christmas with him whenever he arrived, so he would not miss it. Here's my reply:

Dear Xiao Tian,

Gege and I are healthy and looking forward to having you home with us. We are still waiting for the CCAA to give us the travel notice that will allow me to come to China to get you. It must go through two more offices before they can send it to the U.S. It may happen in December, but my agency has told me that since the CCAA is moving so slowly, it might not happen until January.


I cannot believe it is taking this long for this paperwork, and I am very sorry that you are not in school during this long wait. I am glad you are using this waiting time to learn some English and learn to write the 26 letters. Here is a challenge for you: Each of the 26 letters you learned to write has a handshape in ASL so that you can spell words. Those handshapes are shown in the back of the ASL book I sent you--there is a page that shows a picture of each letter. Can you memorize which hand shape goes with each letter?


This week on Thursday we have an American holiday called Thanksgiving. Have you heard of this holiday? It started when some people called Pilgrims came to America and built houses and worked the fields. Life was very hard, and many of them died, and their Indian neighbors taught them a lot about growing crops and hunting for food. So at the end of the autumn, after the harvest, they had a big feast with lots of food, and they invited the Indians to join them, and they gave thanks to God for helping them to survive and have enough food to save for the winter. So Thursday, on Thanksgiving, we have a big feast and invite all of our family and some friends to share it. You will see this feast next year. You will be surprised how much food there is!


My heart is breaking that you might not be home with us in time for Christmas, but I make you this promise: If you are not here in time for Christmas, our Christmas tree will stay up until you come home to us, and we will have our Christmas celebration just for you whenever you get here. So please do not worry about missing Christmas, okay? You will still have your Christmas with mama and gege.


I have made plans for us to go to Beijing together, and we shall climb the Great Wall so that you can be a real man. I am also hiring a Chinese sign language interpreter during the time we tour some of the historical places in Beijing, because I know you won't know enough ASL yet to truly understand the history around you, and I want you to enjoy it fully and understand some of your heritage and culture. So the interpreter will be there, but only for Beijing. Until Beijing, you will be learning ASL with me so we can learn to communicate better.


I have a friend who is coming on the trip with me. Her name is Jen, and she and her husband adopted a little girl from China about a year ago. She is very excited to meet you and to help us on our adoption trip. She does not know any ASL yet, so we will teach her some together, you and I. Would you like to try to teach her some ASL since you have learned many signs already?


Since you have decided to take an American name, I will be sure to bring a list with me. I will show you in sign language what each name means, so that you can choose a name that you thinks fits your character. But we will keep Xiao Tian in your name. So your name after you are adopted will be ________ XiaoTian Fisher.

I love hearing of the tree with the heart-shaped leaves. Even though I cannot see it yet, it is very precious to me, because it is a symbol of your love and trust for me. Will you please save this picture for me and bring it to me when me meet? After you come home, I want to help you make a special book called a Life Book, which has information about your life in China, and I think this picture should be part of this book, because it is the first picture you made for your new mama. Have you also in the past made pictures for your first mama, to show your love for her and your thanks that she gave you life? If you have made such pictures for her, those should also be in this book.


Again, I am sorry it is taking so long to get permission to come pick you up. Just know that you have a mama who loves you very much, and I will be there as soon as they give me permission, and I am still thinking of you all the time and blowing you kisses in the wind every night.

Love, Mama